Change is Change... Is Change is Change
It's been a minute since I have sat down and written something. Admittedly, I have exited hibernation mode in my life, which has led to a plethora of new opportunities, which has left me... well, busy.
I remember wondering if this 'stagnation' was ever going to end. I am someone who has a lot of ambition, dreams, talents, and these past few years I have had immeasurable growth within myself - but externally, my circumstances didn't change much.
Well, that's not true. I've changed states thrice. But when it comes to fulfillment in my day to day life - be that creatively - like singing, acting, etc - I wasn't meeting that. I was focusing on myself, which is a job in and of itself, but much of that growth is internal. I feel like a completely different human being than I was 3 years ago (I'm not even sure if I qualified as a human being three years ago) but creatively, I wasn't stimulated. I was in my 'preparation' phase - a wonderful phase, with a promise of much to come - but I was so fixed on self growth and dealing with my day to day challenges there wasn't much room for creativity.
If you're in that 'preparation' stage, and you're asking yourself if it will ever end, here's your answer: it will. And when it does, you're going to think - wow, that was sooner than I thought.
I'm in a very active stage of living right now. Life ebbs and flows, I'm sure I'll have another stage of reflection and hibernation at some point - but not for a while. I've spent all this time working on myself and preparing myself for my future - a very bright future I promised myself long ago. What I have learned is, the Universe knows better than you. If I received everything I wanted when I wanted it, it would've been a disaster, and I would've learned very quickly I didn't actually want any of that anyway. I wanted the idea of it.
I've always known my path in this life - even if I felt as though I veered off course once or twice, or I questioned that path. Even when I was confused about my future, and seriously considered dropping off the face of the planet and living a very quiet existence, sans any type of creative endeavors whatsoever.
I used to fear my own potential - I think this is a commonality with those who have been taught to diminish themselves - almost as though my own potential was offensive. I carried guilt for what lived within me. I guess I carried this fear of being "different". I was scared that my life could be something more. I had been sad for so long I was scared to be happy. I was terrified that what I was taught about myself wasn't true. That all those characteristics I adopted because someone told me that was how I was meant to behave were false. When you believe that someone is in control of your life and identity, it feels illegal when you realize they are not.
I have always known I held great talent, that I was destined for a grand life. I've been told since I was a child. I believe that the greatest artists have experienced the most pain. It is the battle of letting go of that pain to allow the future to come into fruition, that is what I struggled with.
"Stay humble." There is a balance of being humble and appreciating yourself. I don't believe in denying your own greatness - how else are you supposed to step into your power? If you spend your whole life believing you are small, you are going to be small. If you believe you are capable of extraordinary things, you will achieve those extraordinary things. What you believe is what is.
I know what I hold within myself, I understand the path that has been given to me. I recognize that my gifts are both for myself and for others. I am so excited to begin this chapter. I have been waiting so long to introduce myself to the world and it is finally happening. And I am doing it my way. A la Frank Sinatra.
The opposition you face becomes quieter and quieter the less and less you enable it. The more you focus on yourself, rid negative energies, people, places, things.... The more and more you see the beauty the world has to offer. The Universe has to know what to give you - if you want grandeur, you will get grandeur. But there is an action required, that action is to simply believe you are deserving of it. To create your own reality, to actively be a part of positive change. To listen to your intuition so fiercely nothing and no one can steer you off track (they will try). To understand that you are your environment - if you are around energies that believe nothing is possible, nothing will be possible.
Keep your circle small. I need myself and maybe three friends in this lifetime. Double one of them as a husband, I'm good to go. I love performing, I can entertain a crowd of one or one million and not bat an eye, but when it comes to bringing people into my home - showing them my most authentic self - there are only very few that get to see that. I am sacred, and only those who recognize that are welcomed within my space. It is so important to protect ourselves and our energies. This is something I learned recently, I know I have spoken about my lack of boundaries before (being conditioned to believe you are for everyone else - mind, body, spirit, will do that) and I have finally instilled an almost fortress around me. It's great, you should try it.
Stand firm in who you are. If you haven't figured that out yet, just stand firm. Fake it till you make it. I love who I am - I think I'm great. It was through self love that I discovered what a incredible being I am. It is through self love that we all discover that. Everyone has limitless potential. As soon as you stop blaming your external circumstances for your internal struggles, change happens. As soon as you stop blaming others for the way you are, and instead start rewiring yourself to be who you want to be, change happens. As soon as your realize that there are literally no excuses as to why you cannot live a beautiful life filled with love and happiness except for your own personal choice to not pursue that path - change happens.
Change is change is change is change is change. If you want it, get it. It is that simple.