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  • Juliette Angelo

The quieter moments are when I sit and ask myself.

How did I get here?

It's been two years since I did the impossible: leave everything that was familiar to me and follow a subtle feeling of intuition that was foreign to me at the time.

Now, as I watch the snow glisten on the trees, hear the birds sing to each other, gaze at a land so tranquil and safe I can hardly fathom it, I ask myself that question...

How did I get here?

I spent what felt like an eternity digging through my psyche, peeling back every layer of myself until there was nothing left. I thought the pain would never end. Then, I rebuilt my identity piece by piece, leaving no stone unturned, attempting to identify who and what I was, without conditioning or expectations or judgment.

I have found peace in writing, ever since I was a child. My words were my power, they still are. Others tried to silence me, and for a while they succeeded, until I realized that no one can take your words from you. They can convince you that you have nothing to say, that you have nothing to give, that no one would listen to you or believe you anyway - until the day comes when someone does believe you. When someone tells you you do have something important to say. In fact, you were told to be silent because of how important you are.

As a child, I would find a quiet place - a rarity in my life - and write. Words would flow out of me like an endless river of grief and desperation. I would try to put poetry to what I was feeling - to try to make sense of my circumstances - to try to understand what it was I was living through. I was obsessed with words. I thought, if I could just find the right one, then maybe I could understand what was happening to me. But still, to this day, I cannot find the adequate wording to articulate those experiences.

Instead, I found the power in those experiences, I found the courage to speak about them, to share them with the world, to liberate myself and to stand up for others who cannot yet stand up for themselves, and then, I found the courage to do the most powerful step of them all - I found the courage to move on.

I've lived so many sides of life. I've lived in the spotlight, I've lived in the hospital after a drunken night, I've lived in the AA rooms, I've lived on a stage in front of a thousand people, I've lived in silence, I've lived in fear, I've lived in courage, I've lived in chaos, I've lived in peace. I've lived in so many environments in so little time around so many people I couldn't even find myself. It wasn't until I lived with nothing that I realized I had everything I needed.

Life is simple. Find what makes you happy. Surrender to that happiness. I've overcomplicated things for far too long - I've sang songs that needed far less verses to convey the same message - and I've learned that the most precious things in life are free.

I've had people tell me a million things about myself, tell me a million ways how to live my life, tell me a million opinions about who I am as a person. I'm not one to listen to unwarranted advice, but recently, someone told me to keep writing.

I've decided to do just that.

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  • Juliette Angelo

When everything falls apart, does it instead fall together?

This past chapter of my life has been a whirlwind of emotion, change, and transformation. Over the past few weeks, as I find myself finally settling into a semi-permanent home for the first time in my life, it seems like myself (and so many others) are purging an entire identity that no longer serves us.

I spoke to a woman today who confirmed my intuitive feeling that there was an energetic shift going on within our world. Many of my close friends have gone through a recent period of extreme emotional experiences and intense self reflection. Myself included. I feel as though I have undergone some type of identity crisis, only to realize there is no crisis - it is simply time to fully step into myself, instead of clinging on to this false version I kept taped on out of necessity and survival.

Leading up to this new year, I find a spark within myself that I feared I lost a long time ago. A spark that says that anything is possible, that your dreams can and will come true. Often times, the unpredictably of life and the postponement of our wishes can slowly begin to dull our spirit. I know my spirit suffered greatly these past few months. I feel as though I have hibernated these last few weeks - I think I was asleep more than I was awake and I've cried more tears than I ever have before - but today, for the first time in a while, I woke up with a bit of magic in my heart.

The past is truly the past. The longer we dwell there, the longer we delay our future from coming into fruition. In order to step into the new, we must step out of the old. It may seem daunting at first, stepping into a life of prosperity, abundance, and joy, after a life of trial and tribulation, but trust that life is meant to be enjoyed, and you deserve the utmost of happinesses.

It was never a no, it was simply a not yet. The time is now. Step forward into a new year with grace, with a gleam in your eyes for all of the new possibilities that lay ahead of you. Accept this abundance with gratitude and recognize that you deserve all of the riches sent your way.

A new chapter is upon us. It is time to begin again.

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  • Juliette Angelo

I released my first album.

Fields of Tennessee. I wrote the entirety of this record over the course of two years. It's only a handful of songs, but each one reflects a specific time in my journey. It has been beautiful, painful, extraordinary. I considered re-recording the album, cleaning up the production and making it sound more cohesive, but the raw takes of each song just felt right.

In an industry where so much of music is over produced, I found it refreshing to release my first album unedited. It's a little messy, the audio is wonky, there's static and pops, but it's real. It is me sitting alone with my guitar, singing. Healing. Music has always given me an outlet to find catharsis and find peace. I find it uncomfortable listening to myself edited even the slightest amount. It loses its emotion for me, it loses its meaning.

I hope you enjoy it. There is a story behind every song, the first being Bluebird, which was the first tune I ever wrote, a month before I moved to Nashville. After 2 years of self discovery, through sobriety and deep healing, I left that town for a new start. I recently relocated to New Mexico, the land of enchantment, a state that certainly lives up to its name.

Releasing this album felt like closure from a chapter of my life that was incredibly tumultuous and intense, but also beautiful and transformative. It has allowed me to make peace with what has been a whirlwind of two years. It's an entire life I have left behind, an entire identity that no longer serves me. It has allowed me to step forward into a new, brighter future, whatever that may look like.

I hope that you connect to my words and find peace in my story. Music has been a sanctuary for me since I was a child and I hope to provide you that same feeling. Thank you for listening.

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